Church of the Unclad Schlong

So Papa Ratzo, otherwise known as Pope Benedict 16, has concluded that the Bishop Williamson affair was not handled all that well. By him, that is. After it was pointed out that a simple Google search would have sufficed to tip off the Vatican about Williamson's Holocaust denial, it was revealed that no one in Ratzo's inner circle had any clue about this newfangled intertube thingy. Which gives you a pretty good idea of just how sclerotic and clueless are the people the Pope has surrounded himself with.

Let's charitably assume that these worthies are not counted among those Catholic clergy who have put their penises ahead of their faith, and that none of them has parked his pecker where it is not allowed, in particular, in the orifices of the most vulnerable of the faithful. As I've had occasion to note, that such a collection of robed virgins, not a female among them, is uniquely placed to lecture the rest of the world on issues of sex and family life is one of the more hilarious conceits of Catholic thinking. In comedic terms, it has shown itself to be the gift that keeps on giving, as evidenced by Ratzo's recent swing through Africa. In this case, the only orifice being filled was his mouth, and by his foot.

The Church's record, when it comes to the issue of AIDS and how best to keep it from ravaging Africa, is one of shame. It has lobbied long and hard against the use of condoms, because, as we know from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, it is more important for the Church to ensure that every sperm remains sacred than to save actual lives. This was true with J2P2, and if we had any doubt that it is also true of Ratzo, he put it to rest with his contention that condoms, which have been known to help cut the incidence of sexually transmitted diseases, actually make the AIDS situation in Africa worse: "you can't resolve it with the distribution of condoms.... On the contrary, it increases the problem."

One can see the intellectual laziness in this position. Rather than be honest and say, "we know that condoms can help protect against AIDS (although not perfectly), but we have a moral principle that keeps us from accepting the use of condoms among our believers, and therefore we do not support their use for Catholics," Ratzo instead doubled down, disputing what virtually every other person not addled by dogma could see, and claimed that somehow condoms increased the suffering caused by AIDS. Of course, not one single piece of evidence was offered to support this transparently ridiculous claim. Perhaps Ratzo and his perfumed coterie feel that his status as Virgin-in-Chief is sufficient to create this new upside-down reality.

What next from this Pope? Given that he's already used both his feet to fill his cakehole, can we now expect to see him walking on his hands? Given his predilection for pompous inanity, we won't have to wait long to find out.