Free at Last

This is almost as deep into winter as you can get, and it feels like it. It was brass-monkey cold all last week, and the air has been thick with Bush's pathetic attempts to spin his place in history, a stupid man frantically trying to polish a turd. Many fatuous words were spoken about a library and a book from the Bushes—apparently Laura believes there's a lot we would pay $40 to find out from her. Frat Boy Smirk himself is said to be keen to sharpen his favourite crayon and give it a go. That would give him a two-book head start on filling up his new lie-berry. Presumably the new facility will feature stations where weary readers can go to have their reading calluses treated. Signs will hang from the ceiling reminding the various visiting Bush scholars: "REMEMBER: Lips together when reading."

One hopes for the day when Bush and Cheney will have their Pincohet moment, charged with war crimes and unable to travel for fear of being taken off the plane and sent to The Hague. The world showed it was serious when it hauled Milosevic and Karadzic (and soon, one hopes, Mladic) before the International Criminal Court. It should show no less zeal in seeking to add Bush and Cheney to this butchers' gallery. It would be worth paying to see W try to smirk and chuckle his way through a war crimes trial. He'd look good in orange.

Here in the Great White North, Prime Minister Doughboy gets a second chance to get it right with a budget next week. OpLeader Ignatieff makes noises that if it contains broad tax cuts, the Libs won't vote for it, and we're back to coalition time. However, Ignatieff never liked the coalition idea and will try to steer around it if he can. Harper may accommodate him, since he may realize that playing chicken this time around will see him in Stornaway post-haste. However, since he likes to campaign far more than govern, Harper may just decide to pull another adolescent stunt and force a crisis—election or coalition?—which would provide plenty of drama and keep everyone distracted from the world of hurt coming our way in the next several years. Harper may decide that now is not the time to be running things, since as the recession deepens, people will find out that at the end of the day, Sweater Boy, like his hero W, is really interested in rewarding his friends, and has no particular interest in, or talent for, running an economy for the benefit of everyone. Let's hope he takes financial wizard Patricia Croft's advice on how to weather the coming storm, delivered on TV on January 9: "batten down the hatchets."

Harper has decided his quest for a reformed Senate is doomed, as any first year poli sci student could have told him and Preston Manning back in the 90s, when this idea was trotted out as part of the sacred Reform canon. A quick look at the formula for amending the constitution (it basically requires unanimity from the provinces and federal government), not to mention memories of the great fun we all had the last time we tried doing it, could have saved the Reformistas a lot of grief. Then again, Reformers were never more happy than when angry and venting their own special brand of sour gas. In any event, Harper appointed 18 new warm bodies to the upper chamber, including media stars Mike Duffy and Pamela Wallin, skier Nancy Green Raine and 15 other hacks, this while the House was prorogued. It might be argued that this is nothing more than facing political reality, and it is something he would rather not do if he had his druthers, but this can't be said of his decision to appoint a new Supreme Court justice without running it by a parliamentary committee, something he crowed about doing in 06. Apparently, Stevie doesn't think getting MPs' input on such appointments is worth it this time. Easy come, easy go. Back to Square One.

Still no word from the secret committee of anti-abortion MPs on how they intend to outlaw abortion without anyone finding out. Stay tuned. Or not.

Prince Harry, who distinguished himself a couple of years ago for showing up at a costume party dressed as a Nazi (perhaps in affectionate remembrance of his great-grand-uncle Edward VIII/Duke of Windsor, legendary bon vivant, Nazi sympathizer and likely traitor), has called a Pakistani member of his regiment "our little Paki friend," but we are told it is meant as a term of affection, as is, apparently, "raghead," another nickname he is fond of using. Harry comes by his racism honestly: daddy Charles affectionately refers to polo-playing friend Kuldip Dhillon as "Sooty", and Charles' daddy, notorious horse's ass Prince Philip, famously told British students in China they would end up "slitty-eyed" if they stayed there much longer. As for Harry, he continues in the tradition of other "spares" to the heirs, like Princess Anne, who must be kept occupied lest they open their mouths and Philip's genes kick in. If one prefers to treat things royal as a matter of animal husbandry, as is often done, Harry can soon be expected to get to work fashioning a suitable breeding arrangement, by way of marriage. His role as spare is not done, of course, until William suitably discharges himself of his responsibilities in this matter, with his own pair of spawn. And who knows? One need only look to the aforementioned Eddy8 to see the wisdom of having someone in the wings who can step in, someone who must share your blood, according to the rules, and, oh, by the way, definitely cannot be a Catholic.

Meanwhile, in the Unholy Land, Israel, having pulverized Gaza over the holidays, is getting out just in time before President Obama is inaugurated and has something to say about this latest murderous incursion. Sadly, it is hard not to see this as being as much about the upcoming Israeli election as anything else, as everyone trips all over themselves trying to out-Likud each other. Israel would like us all to see this as a one-off aimed at silencing Hamas rockets, with no reckoning being made of the effect of decades of Israeli occupation and colonization of Palestinian land, leaving the Palestinians something very much like the detestable Bantustans of apartheid-era South Africa. Media in this country and in the US have drunk the Israeli Kool-Aid; Israel is a fragile vulnerable country surrounded by fanatical mortal enemies, who need periodic doses of Israeli medicine to keep them in line. It is perfectly reasonable to kill 1000 or so Arabs every once in a while, just to show them.

I have come to the depressing belief that Israel and the Palestinians are doomed to a perpetual death-dance. Both are permanently traumatized populations who believe they can will their favoured reality into being. Do Tzipi, or the Ehuds, or Bibi really believe the claptrap they spout about how they will "topple" Hamas and replace it with a government more to their liking? What arrogance is it that looks upon the Palestinians as people allowed to elect only those who meet Israeli approval? As long as Israelis look upon their neighbours this way, there is no way forward.

The Gaza adventure exposes Israel as a country that wants not peace but only quiet. The biggest favour a President Obama could do for Israel is to tell them that they will not receive another red cent from the US until they immediately stop all settlements on Palestinian land, and submit a plan to dismantle the ones already there. If Israel is serious about long-term peace, they cannot pursue it while taking the land from under the Palestinians' feet.

Support for Israel on this side of the pond has sadly come down to support for the Likud view of never-ending violence and war, something dear to Netanyahu's heart. If, God forbid, he wins in February, Israel can look forward to more of the same, a debilitating prospect for anyone interested in her long-term security, but even more maddeningly, understandable in the short term, given Hamas, Hezbollah, and Iran have made it a stated aim to see Israel wiped from the map. Welcome to Square One again. The future belongs to those with the rockets, guns and bombs.

I have been to The Beast, Tina Brown's answer to the HuffPost, and sampled some of Conrad Black's ageless prose. Actually, a while back, Black wrote a column in the Globe and Mail defending FDR from the revisionist claptrap of the right wing in the States to the effect that the New Deal actually made the Great Depression worse than it was. Black is always fun to read, and when he practises scholarship, he is at his best. It doesn't hurt that he writes coherently and in complete sentences, either. He seems to be unaware, though, of the ludicrous spectacle of him casting himself in the role of stalwart defender of the wrongfully convicted, something he has announced to the world from his cell through The Beast. Further outpourings from him on this subject are sure to be entertaining. We can look forward to five more years of his tireless work on behalf of those who have been shafted by the system, man.