Palin of the Day

Perhaps you were as taken as I was by the arrival of Sarah Palin, pistol-packin', moose-dressin', bear-guttin', snowmobilin' hockey mama from Alaska, and her bizarrely named brood:

• Track, (named presumably after her favourite sport in high school. Presumably he is grateful that mom didn't excel in Tiddly-Winks.)
• Piper
• Willow
• Bristol
• Trig (named after her favourite subject in school? I'm betting not.)

The alliterative pair Track and Trig are the boys. Track, we are told, enlisted in the army last September 11, and he is shipping out to Eye-Raq on September 11 this year. What an incredible coincidence. Trig is still a baby, born in April this year, and has Down Syndrome. He (along with the rest of his sibs) featured prominently as a prop throughout the Republican convention, clasped up against a baby blanket held throughout by 17-year-old sister Bristol.

Bristol, of course, made her own news when it was announced that she took time out from her busy high school life last spring, perhaps to celebrate the arrival of Trig, to get impregnated by boyfriend and hockey yahoo Levi Johnston, who was then duly packed off to St. Paul for display at the convention, like livestock at the state fair. Johnston thus goes down in history as the first human ape ever to be brought to a Republican convention expressly because of his proficiency in underage insemination. Like I say, kind of like the Royal Winter Fair we have up here. Anyway, if Bristol is to follow in Mom’s snowmobile bootsteps and name the child after her favourite high school sport, can we look forward to a bouncing baby Boink? Just askin'. (update on baby-naming rationale in next post)

Bristol, we are informed, made the choice to marry Levi and have little Boink, something that Mom Sarah, should she ascend to the presidency, would try to deny every other family (choice, that is).

Sarah, according to Wikipedia, "eloped" with her high school sweetheart Todd at the tender age of 24. Frankly, I suspect a typo. How one "elopes" at 24 is a mystery that will have to be deferred to a later meditation. For now, look for a new feature, to be posted daily or nearly so, called Palin of the Day, in which we feature the names of the rest of the mythological Palin clan.

Today’s Palin of the Day: Strep.